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Family Balance
“So divinely is the world organized that every one of us, in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.”
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Sometimes the inspiration for a newsletter takes a bit of time and conscious thought on my part - and sometimes it just happens, out of the blue, quite unexpectedly.
Now, I’m going to very honest with you and tell you that this week’s newsletter nearly didn’t happen. No need for me to go into too much detail but suffice it to say that we’ve been experiencing a little dissonance in the family just recently!
It’s not surprising really. We’ve just said goodbye to both paternal and maternal Grannies – the former having passed on, as you will have read in last week’s message, and the latter having emigrated to take up a new life with other family members in New Zealand.
The two events have obviously been significant for my wife and I but it’s always easy to underestimate the effect it has on children – and I guess I’ve probably been guilty of that.
In my experience, teenage kids tend to respond in one of two ways to family dramas - they
act cool and seemingly unbothered by the goings on, or they become pre-occupied with their own issues. What may, on the surface, seem like an uncaring or self-centred attitude on their part, often belies the true depth of their feeling.
Frankly, as I settled myself down to write this newsletter, I felt, most uncharacteristically, a little downhearted. As I struggled to focus my thoughts, an arriving email proved to be a rather welcome distraction as the writer's request had me scurrying through my electronic files in search of some information I needed to prepare a response.
As I scrolled down through one of my email folders, frantically trying to locate what I needed, I came across one of the newsletters that Neil Asher (founder of New Insights global) had written to his mailing list many months ago.
As I skimmed through it, I smiled! The Universe, in its unique and unexpected way, had directed me to read an inspired message from Neil… about
family balance!
My thoughts immediately turned from lingering concerns about the recent dysfunctionality that I thought might have crept into our family interactions, to appreciation for the role that each member had played to keep us in some kind of balance!
Here, with acknowledgment to Neil, is a slightly edited version of his original message:
"...a state of perfect balance!"
“When you think of the concept of balance in your life and whether that truly exists, take a close look at the fundamental social dynamic called the family and see whether function or dysfunction, order or disorder reigns.
Though, at a superficial glance, it might appear that many if not most families are dysfunctional, when viewed from a greater concentric sphere, they actually turn out to have a balanced order.
Imagine you were to task each functional member within a family to make their own list of all the like and unlike character traits, as well as the likes and dislikes of each of the other members; then you were to combine the lists.
What you would discover, if everyone did the exercise with an honest and open heart, is that you would end up with a list that portrayed the whole family as complete and in a state of perfect balance!
All the like characteristics would balance out all the unlike traits. All the likes would balance out all
the dislikes.
The character traits that each of the members listed would be those that pushed each of their buttons, whether positively or negatively.
As you would come to find out, those character traits the members perceived as being either likable or dislikable are actually reflections of their own character traits and just as the whole family maintains an ordered balance, so do each of its members.
The purpose of the whole family dynamic, therefore, is to push as many of the individual members’ buttons as possible, so as to initiate a higher state of unconditional love within the family. Each member participates in the growth or evolution of the other members. By pushing each other's buttons each member thus helps the others move towards attaining the transcendent state of unconditional love.
Family members were divinely brought together to help them effectively fulfill their purposes. Sometimes it may not seem like it but no one
member gets a better – or worse – deal than the other as each justly receives or experiences that which is essential for their own evolution.
Though human society may sometimes perceive a mess, each individual's heart and soul knows that divine order exists. It is only their individual lower-minded misjudgments and self-righteous or self-deprecatory illusions that keep them from experiencing the joy that is the whole family's unconditional love.”
Thanks for the reminder
My thanks to Neil, for this timely reminder of the powerful law of balance. Though it is something we teach in life coaching, it is easily forgotten in the hurly-burly lives that we lead.
"Now's definitely the time to act"
And thanks once again for reading Insights.
If you have ever felt the desire to become a life coach, imparting the secrets to a life of personal freedom, confidence and growth to others, while enjoying a rewarding and amazingly fulfilling career, now’s definitely the time to act!
New Insights is celebrating its first year in South Africa with a special offer, which by popular request, has been extended until the end of August.
I urge you to take a look at the following link:
https://www.life-coach-training-sa.com/birthday-special-offer.html
With warm regards
Bill.
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